


Creature Comforts

by mousecookie



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Polymorph as a coping mechanism, Sad Wizards Club, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26851858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousecookie/pseuds/mousecookie
Summary: Essek impulsively visits the Mighty Nein one evening during their travels.Frumpkin sits in his lap.Caleb, oddly, is nowhere to be found.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss
Comments: 48
Kudos: 471





	Creature Comforts

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure indulgent fluff for my dear [Kaeda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeda), for the prompt fill "It was you the whole time." Trying to fill that prompt spawned two other fics besides this one! It's a good problem to have, but I'm glad to finally get this down for you. <3

Essek couldn’t say what drew him to scry on the Mighty Nein on this particular afternoon. It had been a few weeks since their last Sent message to him, true, but this was not an unusual length of time. In the earlier days since the peace talks, Essek had been nervous that their long silences were indicative of lost interest. By now he knew better. They were simply busy, like all mercenaries in high demand.

But still - Essek found that today, he needed to see their faces. 

Maybe it was the long days in court, and the stress of postwar discussions with the Bright Queen. Maybe it was the ever-growing, gnawing realization of just how terrible the war had been. Maybe it was his frustration with the Cerberus Assembly and the pitifully small crumbs of research they sent his way. 

Maybe... it was the way his tower felt too empty. When he walked (yes, walked, sometimes) his footsteps echoed. It was too quiet, too still. Too lonely. The crisp edges of the architecture, the sleek staircases, high arches, the dark shimmer of the stone… it was all beautiful, and he loved it, but it could not produce the sound of raucous laughter, or the warmth of his friends at his shoulders. (Yes, _friends_. He knew that they cared for him, despite everything. They had been very clear about that, even if he still didn’t fully understand it.) 

And so, he sat at his desk and scryed on Jester. His preferred focus would have been Caleb, but he recalled from long ago that the wizard was shrouded in a powerful anti-scrying magic. He would miss seeing Caleb’s face.

Essek took a deep, centering breath, and cast the spell.

His mind’s eye rushed through ethereal fog. It was silvery and cool, filtering over him and around him and through him as his consciousness traveled. The sensation was both calming and exhilarating all at once. By the time Essek had taken another breath, he was watching--

_\--Jester, approaching the doorway of a white cottage with a domed roof. The surrounding area - what Essek could see of it - was a thicket of white-barked trees with purple flowers, nestled in a sea of swaying grasses. What drew most of his notice, however, was how weary Jester looked. Her shoulders were slumped, her feet dragged with every step. There was a scrape on her cheek, and her clothes were dusty. The glimmer of mischief that usually sparkled in her eyes was dimmed._

_Behind Jester, the rest of the Mighty Nein looked just as exhausted. All bore the signs of recent battle: cuts, bruises, torn clothes. To Essek’s surprise, he could also see Caleb. Whatever magic the wizard had once used to shield himself from prying eyes, it was not in effect now. Caleb walked a few paces behind Jester with his familiar Frumpkin wrapped around his neck like a scarf, his steps leaden, and his face deeply lined with stress. Caleb looked even more haggard than the rest of them, Essek noted - and the Nein knew it too, going by the way they walked around him, keeping him at their center. Protecting him. From what, Essek didn’t know._

_Jester unlocked the door with a brass key and moved inside. The field of Essek’s vision moved with her, cutting off his view of Caleb._

_The interior of the cottage was cozy and colorful, and gently sunlit from many-paned windows with peculiar rounded edges. Simple decorations adorned the white stucco walls. The furniture of the main sitting room was made from the same pale wood as the trees outside, and festooned with bright plush cushions. Doorways from the main room led to a kitchen, one to a patio, and another to a hallway with more doors._

_“Oh good, it’s not a shitty cottage,” Jester sighed, tossing her pink haversack on a chair._

_“Dibs on the softest bed,” Beau grunted, heading straight for the hallway. She sported a spectacular black eye and a split lip. She swiped a piece of fruit from a bowl on a side table as she left. It was not a fruit Essek had seen before - yellow and strangely bean-shaped._

_Yasha followed a few steps behind Beau. Her nose looked like it had been recently broken and reset._

_“Kitchen’s good,” Caduceus observed, poking his head in. “I can get something started up.” The firbolg disappeared inside, limping slightly._

_“Do they have pastries?” Jester asked, following him. “Hector better have--”_

Jester’s words were cut short as the vision ended.

Essek tapped his fingers on his desk, thinking.

He’d had his look at the Nein. They were alive and appeared to be safe, if a bit battered. This really should be the end of his inquiry.

But…

Essek sighed heavily, and glared at the empty, empty office around him. Then, he abruptly stood up. The legs of his chair rasped on the floor as it was shoved back. He unhooked his heavy mantle and tossed it onto the desk, ignoring the heavy clank of the shoulder pieces and the jar of quills that was knocked over. He strode to a cabinet, unlocked it with a wave of his hand, and opened it to reveal shelves and shelves of various potions. One whole shelf was full of rich, jewel-red liquids. Essek seized a handful of them - ruby and garnet and carnelian clinking together, cushioned in one of his wide sleeves - and walked to the middle of the room.

He pictured the sleepy little cottage and the lush greenery around it as clearly as he could. He pictured the tired Mighty Nein within. He pictured Caleb greeting him with a smile.

The teleportation spell came easily to Essek, leaving his mouth and hand with nary a thought. The scry had offered sufficient information, it seemed, because his landing was easy too: just a stone’s throw away from the front door of the strange cottage. 

Warm, humid air rushed to meet him, washing over his face and clothes. He exhaled the night air of Rosohna, and inhaled a cocktail of afternoon warmth, damp earth and sweet flowers. A quick glance around showed the cottage was situated on the edge of a huge, verdant forest - not merely a thicket. Essek could see a dozen different flowers and several kinds of fruit and berries from where he stood. Birds flitted from branch to branch, warbling unfamiliar notes. A heavy perfume drifted down from the closest trees - those that bore white bark and ruffled purple blossoms. Fallen petals carpeted the path to the front door. The cottage itself was taller than Essek had expected, its domed roof tiled and partially covered with green moss, ferns, and pink orchids.

Despite these intriguing sights, the afternoon sun was too bright to be comfortable for Essek’s sensitive eyes. He shaded them with his free hand and hurried to the cover of the front porch.

He stood there for several seconds before hesitantly knocking.

“Ah, hello?” he called, not wanting to alarm them when they were clearly so battle-weary. “It is Essek.”

There were noises from within. Murmur of voices, thumping footsteps. The door swung open.

Beau’s tired, suspicious face greeted him. “Essek? You sure you’re you?” Her shoulders were tense, and her hand was curled loosely into a fist at her side.

To be honest, Essek hadn’t anticipated his identity being a question. “Ah- yes? I am quite sure.”

“Tell us something only Essek would know,” Beau demanded.

Essek winced and looked away. There was certainly one thing no one else but he and they would know, but he’d rather avoid saying it. “Your hot tub in Rosohna is named after one of your fallen comrades?”

Beau squinted at him. “Good, but not good enough.”

Essek sighed. _So be it._ He gritted his teeth. “I... the war. It was my fault.”

It was funny, in a way. The more times he acknowledged those words, it didn’t get any easier. The more he learned about the true impact of the conflict, the lives lost, the blood shed… it was harder and harder to take ownership of his actions. More painful.

But it was a price he was willing to pay to see the Mighty Nein. To see Caleb.

Beau did seem satisfied, at least. “It’s Essek, guys,” she called loudly over her shoulder, then stepped back and opened the door for Essek to pass through. “Sorry man, had to be sure. It’s been a rough couple of days.”

“So I gathered,” he said, glancing at her black eye and split lip. “To that end, I have brought-- if they might be useful?” He lifted his armful of potions.

“Forreal?” Beau’s eyebrows rose and she looked hungrily at the bottles. “You brought healing potions?”

“Yes,” Essek said. “Enough for everyone, I hope. Please.” He held them out to her.

“You’re the best,” Beau breathed. She grabbed two garnet-filled bottles and headed straight to the hallway. “Yasha! We can fix your nose!”

The interior of the cottage was as Essek had seen in his scrying: simple, colorful, cozy. Soft illuminance filtered down from a skylight high above them. Jester, Fjord, and Veth were sprawled on the cushy furniture, and the others were presumably in the bedrooms down the hallway. Small noises from the kitchen told him Caduceus was likely still there. Sunlight streamed in through one of the windows, which had been thrown open. There was a wide, cushioned window seat beneath it. Frumpkin was basking in the sun there, sound asleep. 

Jester lifted her arms from where she was draped over a squashy armchair. “Essek!! Oh my gosh!! Did you scry on us and miss us SO much that you needed to see us right away?! Come and give me a hug, I’m too tired to get up.” She pouted and wiggled her fingers.

“I did scry to check in, yes,” Essek said. He held out one of the healing potions as he reached her. “And I saw you might need some small assistance. Perhaps this will make you feel better.”

Jester took the bottle and sighed dramatically. “Oh man, do you know how embarrassing it is for a cleric to use a healing potion? SO embarrassing.” She pulled the cork out and drained it in one gulp. The cut on her cheek faded to smooth blue skin, and her shoulders drooped in relief. “Oh, that is so much better though, thank you SO much! I think I have energy to hug you now.” 

And the tiefling sprung up and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

“Ah-- careful of the potions!” Essek said, even as he bent forward to make it easier for her to reach him. All in all, he was very pleased with himself.

“It’s good to see you,” Jester told him.

“You as well,” Essek said, and offered her a smile.

“Me next, please,” Veth said from the opposite armchair. “Not the hug! The healing potion.”

“And me, if there are plenty,” Fjord said from the couch. He rolled to his feet and approached, glancing at the kitchen. “And one for Caduceus, I think. He was limping earlier. Thank you, Essek. This is very kind.”

“Of course,” Essek said, and handed out potions to all of them. “I confess I am curious, what happened to you all, to drain both of your clerics so completely?”

“Nasty fight,” Jester told him. “Very, very nasty.” She lowered her voice and glanced at Frumpkin in the windowsill before continuing. “We found a scourger safehouse in Port Damali. It was, um, occupied, you know? We had to--” she drew a line in the air over her neck. “It was bad.”

“Is Caleb alright?” Essek asked, dropping his volume to match Jester. He looked towards Frumpkin, then the hallway. Was Caleb listening through his familiar? It would not be out of character.

Jester bit her lip. “He’s okay! But, umm… he’s not exactly... _himself_ , right now, you know?” She glanced at Frumpkin again. “Today was a lot. Like _a lot_ a lot. So he’s, um, he’s kind of checked out? And I don’t know that he’ll be able to have a study date with you, Essek. If that’s something you were hoping for.” She looked truly regretful.

In his mind, Essek delicately stepped over the word “date” and moved past it. “Ah, it is fine. I am very sorry to hear that things did not go as you wished.” He looked around the sleepy cottage, and the low energy of the group. It would probably be appropriate for him to make his excuses and leave. But… he wanted to see Caleb. It was selfish maybe, but Essek had always known himself to be a selfish creature. “Perhaps I might stay for a short while? I don’t mind waiting, at least to say hello. I promise I will not be a demanding guest.”

“Yeah, sure, of course!” Jester said. “There’s plenty of room.” She waved at the ample sitting space.

Essek settled on the couch opposite Jester. “Where are we, if I may ask? I do not recognize the area.”

“The Menagerie Coast!” Jester chirped, flopping back into her chair. “But not near Port Damali or Nicodranas. Sort of in-between and north a bit. When Caleb teleported us out of the safehouse, it was like, in a big hurry because it was about to EXPLODE, so we umm… _didn’t exactly end up where we were supposed to._ ” Her voice trailed to nearly a whisper at the end, before she continued cheerfully at normal volume. “But it’s totally okay because we landed in Feolinn! It’s super swanky and pretty safe, and the mayor owes us a big favor, so he let us stay here. It’s one of the cottages his family uses sometimes.” 

Ah, Feolinn. Now that was a name Essek was familiar with, though only on the labels of fine wines. Leaving in a hurry… that explained even further why Caleb was out of sorts. A botched Teleportation spell was even more hellish on the caster than those who were being transported. Essek felt a twinge of empathy, and wished Caleb was there so he could express it in person. 

“Tea,” Caduceus said, emerging from the kitchen and handing out cups. He was no longer limping. “Thank you for the healing potion, Essek, that was very thoughtful.”

“It was no trouble,” Essek said, accepting a cup. “I keep a large supply on hand, in case any experimental spellcasting goes other than planned.” _And in case someone stabs me for being a traitor,_ he didn’t say. He didn’t want to talk about the stress he was currently avoiding.

Over the next half hour, he chatted with Jester and Caduceus, mostly - perhaps their cleric senses told them Essek was seeking a remedy just as much as he was offering one. Veth chimed in a few times, but soon fell asleep in her chair. Fjord listened at first, but yawned more and more often until he, too, excused himself to the hallway towards the bedrooms. 

The stripe of sunlight from the window moved slowly with the passing minutes. Frumpkin, bathed golden in its glow, slept soundly until cool shadows began to encroach on the cushion. The minute the shade touched the cat’s nose, he roused, stretched his legs out as far as they would go, then stood up and stretched again with an arched back. His eyes - so unusual in their blue color, so much like Caleb’s - blinked slowly at the room and its occupants.

With a small thump, Frumpkin leapt to the floor. He padded softly over to Jester and brushed against her shin. Then, he turned and leapt onto the couch, next to Essek.

“Oh, hello,” Essek greeted. “Did you sleep well?” He knew that Caleb enjoyed it when people addressed his familiar as though he could answer.

Frumpkin sniffed at him. When Essek put out a hand, the cat bonked his head against it, clearly begging for pets. Essek obligingly rubbed his ear. There was a long, fresh scratch on it, which he carefully avoided. Even Frumpkin had not escaped unscathed, it seemed. Did healing potions work on Fey creatures? Essek would have to ask Caleb when he emerged from his rest.

Essek scratched under Frumpkin’s chin and was rewarded with a rumbling purr.

“That’s nice,” Caduceus said approvingly. “He definitely needs some loving-up today.”

“Be extra nice to him,” Veth piped up sleepily.

“I am happy to do so,” Essek replied. He would always be nice to Frumpkin.

“I think I’ll pick some fresh fruit to go with dinner,” Caduceus said, and got to his feet. “The Wildmother has truly blessed this place, and it would be a shame to ignore it. I’ll be back soon.” Moments later, there was the creak of a door from the kitchen.

Jester smiled at the way Frumpkin had begun to flex his claws on Essek’s expensive trouser leg. “You’re good for him, you know?”

Good for Frumpkin? It was a slightly odd thing to say, but Essek wasn’t going to argue. “I enjoy his company as well.”

Jester yawned, her tongue curling. “Wake me up when food’s ready, okay Essek?”

“Of course.”

Jester soon succumbed to sleep, her snores joining those of Veth. 

Essek felt no need to sleep, or to trance. Just being here was nice. Frumpkin was a warm weight in his lap. He petted the familiar’s sleek fur in smooth repetitions, almost meditatively, and the cat’s steady rumble settled him in a way he’d struggled to achieve through trance in recent days. 

The sun had turned from amber to orange-gold. A thin beam of it sliced through the window to the floor - not too bright, but luminously warm. Motes of dust lazily drifted inside it. The window curtains moved in a faint breeze, and the motes flurried into spirals. Birds trilled evening songs in the trees outside. 

This.

This was peace.

For a short while, Essek could pretend he wasn’t running from anything. Like he didn’t spend each night in his lonely tower just a little more afraid than the last. Like he wasn’t half-worried he’d teleport back to that tower tonight and find it surrounded by the Bright Queen’s soldiers. Like he hadn’t seen reports of damage from the war, one after another, that dropped like river stones into his ribcage - easy to ignore at first, but the weight… the weight continued growing, and growing, and growing. He worried that someday it might crush him from the inside.

But not here. Not now.

Here, he was in a quiet room in distant lands, surrounded by his best and only friends. Frumpkin was soft under his hands, and the low, comforting rumble of the purring continued. He wondered, distantly, if Caleb might be pleased that his familiar was offering Essek comfort. The wizard seemed to send the cat to express his emotions where Caleb himself could not.

Essek sat there for long minutes. He wasn’t sure how long, but his stupor ended abruptly with a very perplexing observation: an amber cat, identical to the one he was petting, had wandered into the room from the kitchen. 

Well, almost identical. The cat in the doorway blinked at him with _amber_ eyes, not blue.

Essek looked down at the cat in his lap. Then up at the other cat. 

The amber-eyed one in the doorway to the kitchen licked its haunch a few times, then, seemingly disinterested, rose and meandered off into the hallway. Essek thought again about how the blue eyes of the cat in his lap looked so much like Caleb’s. 

Dots connected in Essek’s mind, rapid-fire.

 _He’s not really_ **_himself_ ** _, right now -- He needs loving-up -- Be extra nice to him! -- You’re good for him, you know?_

Oh.

_Oh._

Oh, dear. 

_It was you the whole time._

An intense flash of embarrassment heated the back of Essek’s neck and the tips of his ears. He’d apparently been _petting Caleb_ for the last half hour. But as he was racing through his recollections, looking for moments he might be mercilessly mocked for, he had to stop short. The Nein had all known this cat was a polymorphed Caleb from the start, but they hadn’t batted an eye, other than to look… pleased. Glad. Essek knew they liked to tease him, and they could easily have used this situation to do so. But they hadn’t.

Maybe they were too tired.

Maybe they were being kind to Caleb.

Maybe... they were being kind to _him,_ too.

_(we have done nothing but show you kindness--)_

Far be it from Essek to turn away an opportunity like this one. He had begun to feel like the cottage was a liminal space, suspended apart from reality. A space where he could reach for what he wanted without fear or artifice. Essek took a breath and laid his hand once more on the cat’s - _Caleb’s_ \- soft fur.

“I don’t know how much time you have left in this form,” Essek whispered. “I suspect it is not long. But… I want you to know that I would not object if you stayed right where you are, when you change back.” His cheeks burned as he said it. His eyes darted to Veth, to Jester - but they were still asleep.

Cautiously, Essek tipped over to lay on his side, gently spilling the cat from his lap onto the couch cushion. There was a responding _mrrppph!_ of protest from cat-Caleb, but Essek quickly soothed the noise by pulling him against his middle and resuming scritches to his chin and behind his ears. After a moment, the purring resumed.

Ten minutes passed. And then five more. 

And then Essek suddenly found himself with an armful of tired, red-headed wizard. 

Caleb looked at him warily, head pillowed on the plush cushions. There was a long scratch across the freckled shell of his ear. Their faces were only inches away from each other, and Essek could feel the wizard’s heartbeat pick up from where they were pressed together. 

Essek drew on the calm he’d been accumulating since his arrival to not react to the sudden change with any kind of surprise. He simply smiled, and tucked a lock of auburn hair carefully behind Caleb’s ear. 

“I meant it. Go back to sleep, you seem like you need it.” 

Then he leaned forward - not far at all - and bestowed a small kiss to Caleb’s forehead. If it was in exactly the same place Essek himself had once received such a kiss… well, that was merely a coincidence.

It had the intended effect. 

Caleb’s eyes slipped shut in relief. He shifted an inch closer and tucked his head under Essek’s chin, slinging an arm over his waist. His breathing evened out once more, his frame relaxing, the lines smoothing from his face. The picture of peaceful oblivion.

Essek held him close, and stayed awake. He traced lazy patterns on Caleb’s shoulder and ran fingers through his hair. He had to remind himself more than once that it wasn’t an indulgent dream he was having.

A few minutes or maybe an hour later, Caduceus peeked out into the living room from this kitchen, his arms full of leafy vegetation and fresh-picked fruit. His eyes immediately locked with Essek’s.

Essek stared back. He tried once more for “calm”, but couldn’t restrain a hint of challenge from his expression. _I am helping him_ , he thought at Caduceus. _Just like he is helping me._

At that particular moment, Caleb stirred. His fingers bunched in Essek’s tunic. His nose bumped against Essek’s collarbone, and he sighed, snuggling closer. Essek tightened his hold.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” Caduceus said in low tones, his eyes crinkled at the corners. “I’ll try and stay quiet until then.”

The firbolg disappeared to complete his task. Caleb’s breath was warm on Essek’s throat, his hair silken where it touched his cheek. Essek wanted to drown in both sensations. He wanted to stay in this moment for as long as possible, insulated from everything with Caleb in his arms, but he knew it was coming to an end soon.

His fingers traced a chronurgy spell before he had really thought about it. An expensive yellow diamond in one of his rings - worn just for this casting - dissolved.

The curtains on the window slowed mid-flutter. The dust motes drifting in their sunbeam became almost stationary, like stars in a golden sky. Jester’s next snore was comically drawn out. Veth reached to scratch her nose, but her motions were like poured molasses. The press of Caleb’s ribs as he breathed in and out was slower, too. Essek alone was unaffected. He was the eye of this tiny and incredibly frivolous time-storm. It would only last for a minute - and all Essek was going to do was lay there and soak it in, to fix it in his memory for weeks and months to come.

He listened to Caleb breathe. He soaked up the closeness and weight of him, and of the rest of the Mighty Nein - all resting, vulnerable, _trusting_ him.

Even slowed by magic, time passed too quickly for his taste.

The minute ended. The spell broke. Everything resumed its normal speed.

Fingertips touched Essek’s cheek, startling him.

“Did you cast something?” Caleb’s voice was rough with sleep. “I thought I felt... something.”

Essek considered lying. But if Caleb could tell, and called him out, it might ruin the peace between them. Alright... he’d only lie a little bit, to spare his pride. “I did,” he admitted. “Something small, and harmless. I only wished to… be able to remember all this a little better.”

“I remember everything,” Caleb told him, and sighed. “It is not always a gift.”

There were many reasons for that to be an unsettling statement, the first of which no doubt being _Trent Ikithon_. Selfishly, Essek realized Caleb would also remember his own betrayal in perfect detail - the party in Nicodranas, the conversation on the ship, preserved in amber forever. The thought was heavy in his chest. One more river stone.

Essek pressed his cheek to the top of Caleb’s head. “But, for right now? This moment?”

“...Ja, this is not so bad to remember,” Caleb replied. His lips grazed Essek’s throat as he smiled.

Essek spent the next several minutes willing his pulse to slow back down.

Eventually Caduceus announced dinner. The group roused and found their way to the dining room. Half of the room’s walls were domed glass panes with a view of the forest and the grasslands beyond. Surprisingly few comments were made about Essek and Caleb being wrapped up together on the couch, and none of them were directed at Essek.

“You looked very cozy,” Veth told Caleb. “Did you sleep well?”

“Ja, actually,” Caleb said, sounding a little surprised himself. “I… I don’t think it will last long, but, ja.” The wizard still looked tired, still had too much old pain in his eyes, but he seemed… present. Engaged.

Veth patted Caleb’s arm. “Well, it’s good for now.” Then, she showed her approval to Essek by passing him a platter of sliced fruit.

 _Good for now,_ Essek thought. Soon, he would have to return to Rosohna, to his duties, to the constant stress of being a treasonous heretic hiding in plain sight. To the constant reminders of damage caused by the war. To his horribly empty tower.

Soon… but not quite yet.

Around him, the Mighty Nein leaned on each other. Jester laughed at something Beau had said, while Yasha inspected a bowl of fried insects with Veth. Fjord speared a strange mushroom on his fork and frowned at it, but ate it at Caduceus’s encouragement, and quickly finished a whole serving of them. The rolling hills outside the windows were painted orange, then red, then purple, matching the evening sky. 

Caleb’s fingers brushed his under the table, and Essek smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like, come find me on tumblr! I'm [ariadne-mouse](https://ariadne-mouse.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I chose the setting of Feolinn from the _Explorer's Guide To Wildemount_. Feolinn is run by Marquis Hector Soliva (of the Soliva Winery family). Also known as "The Garden City", it's a prime vacation destination for nobles and wealthy socialites looking to pamper themselves. The nearby forest, the Plumgroves, is one of the richest natural sources of fruit on the continent. Seemed like a perfect location for the M9 to kick back a little!


End file.
